Altibajos is a Spanish word for "highs and lows". We use it as a joke when Negro Agujetas and I do a show together because he is so short and I am so tall that we are sort of ridiculous if we are both standing up on stage. I try to stay seated.
But I am using it here to describe my life. Highs and Lows. I'm not sure if anyone is reading this anymore, so it is becoming more of a personal journal - perhaps of interest to my family some day.
The Lows: When someone suffers a loss, there are some predictable emotional stages that one passes through. I read about this when my wife, Kathy, died at the age of 39. First comes shock, anger, denial, perhaps an attempt to distract oneself to avoid feelings; but finally there comes a phase of acceptance. In that one, you just get it - this is the way it is and the way it is going to be. I have now reached that stage and all there is left to do is to grieve about the loss. There is no changing it, you just have to mourn the loss.
So I am doing that. I miss the life I used to have and I miss You-Know-Who.. And I can see clearly that, as much as I don't like to live alone, that is my future. I can't imagine any woman who would chose to be a part of the odd life I have chosen. So alone it will be - and that is the Low.
The Highs: well, that is pretty much everything else. In many respects, I have a fabulous life. I belong to a community. For the first time in my life, I actually feel like a part of my community. I know so many people here in Rota. And so many recognize me and greet me on the street. I truly can't even go for a short walk without running into someone for a chat. After 4 TV shows and that two-page article in the local paper, I am becoming a junior celebrity of sorts.
The other day, I was having dinner at the bar right next to my house (best tapas in Rota) with some friends when a lady from Rota who I had seen at the peña asked to take a picture of us. She was making such a fuss over us that the other diners got curious and started asking the barmen who I was. I turned out that across the room was a table with the president of the Peña Luis de la Pica from Jerez. They asked if I would play and sing something for them. Well, the guitar was only 50 feet away, so I went and got it. And we had a little mini-fiesta there in the bar. Maybe it will turn into work, who knows?
I feel comparatively wealthy here. I have a deluxe apartment, a great car, and can generally afford to live. I couldn't begin to live this well in Calfornia on my Social Security and a little pension. Not even close. The bill for the dinner I mentioned above for 4 people with many drinks and all that we wanted to eat came to 30 euros.
And the flamenco! I keep having the experience of not believing what is actually happening to me. In addition to all that is happening at the peña and with a growing circle of artist friends (3 of whom speak English), I am now playing the guitar for Manuel Agujetas almost every day. He is giving lessons to Negro and Miguel's brother, Eduardo. He likes me to play for the lessons, so every day he calls and invites me to lunch. Eduardo is a great cook. We eat and then there is a cante lesson. I'm supposed to be playing the guitar, but I'm not deaf. I'm learning a lot - and from the best singer alive today! Last week I ate at Manuel's house 6 times and went to two fiestas with them. He has been showing me off to some of his more obscure relatives in Puerto de Santa Maria. That's what I mean about not believing what is happening. I am getting into things that I never dreamed I would see.
Like the day in the following link where I sang in the Peña Tio José de la Paula in Jerez, surrounded by famous artists and accompanied by the guitar of Antonio Higuera: Here is one of the most exciting days I ever had here. And the audience seemed to eat it up!
A few weeks ago, Bobby and Adam Marcowitz, came to visit from Santa Cruz, CA. They are a father/son team of guitarists that I have known for years. I put them in one of my spare bedrooms and took them to the peña to see one of the best Saturday afternoon sessions we have had this year. Some artists came down from Jerez to join us and brought a mariquita with them. That is an effeminate gay guy who plays on his own gayness as a comedy routine. He had us peeing our pants, he was so funny. And there was excellent singing that day. So Bobby and Adam had a great adventure. What a delight to be able to offer that.
Otherwise, life has it's little satisfactions. Like I got my first ham:
Of course when you are alone with a ham, there is nobody to tell on you if you cut a little slice every time you pass the ham. Delicious!
And I am nearly ready to take the written exam to get a Spanish drivers license. Tomorrow I get a medical checkup and take the photos and then the driving school will schedule the test. Yes - driving school. It is much harder to get a license here and the other drivers are generally pretty competent. I did about 60 practice exams (in Spanish) to prepare myself. You can only miss 3 out of 30 questions. Once I have my license, I will feel really permanent. Having my "residencia" means that I can stay here forever. I can't imagine having a life in the US anywhere that could compare to this.
And I have two spare bedrooms for family and friends. And the same bedrooms for others as part of a Flamenco Tour package that I am offering for folks who want to see some real flamenco when they come to Spain - not just the canned tourist stuff or the shows that they could see in the US.
3 comments:
we are most certainly still reading don, heesook, and christopher
I'm still reading too. We're still in Gibraltar and have two routes set for when the wind changes: one to Rota and the other direct to Rabat. If there's any southerly in the wind outside the strait, we'll head to Rota. Hope to see you. -Shirlee
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